Write Like The Mogambo Challenge
Names will be released after judging

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Submission 7
By:  JMR Michael M.

“Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep, and doesn’t know where to find them.” Mom read me those words when I was about six. This marked the beginning of my worldly education. I said to mom that “If Bo Peep lost her sheep, she could not know where to find them, could she?” Mom’s eyes became tight little furnaces as she asked, “What do you mean you little rat?” I knew then from the fire in her eyes that I was forever to be persona non grata, but not yet fully conscious of the MogamboHood (MH) within me, I replied in a timid voice, “Well, mom, lost is lost isn’t it? Why would you have to add that what’s lost is something you can’t find? Only a moron would say that.” Mom stood up, put the book down slowly and menacingly, and said, “Go to sleep you little bastard.” I knew then at that very pregnant moment in the flowering of MH that I would dedicate my life to moron detection (MD). Thanks, mom.

Since then the Mogambo has slept in many beds, chairs, and bars as he traversed the planet in search of beer and that solace really ever only gotten from a saintly floozy whose only aim in life is to be blessed with free beer and to be loved by the one she is with. I think it was Hazel’s breast that I had lain my head upon that day in some flea trap on Beatme Street when the TV station broke in from Days of Our Lives with Obama behind a lectern. “Fake floozy (FF),” I said to Hazel. “FAKE! I say, FAKE!” Hazel put her arms around my head and said nothing, just squeezed until I thought I could feel blood coming out my eyes and ears. She loosened just in time to save my life, once again, but also in time for me to hear what the saintly Obama fake was saying. “It is wonderful to be back in Delaware,” he said, chin up. Yeah, looked nice there in Delaware, blue skies, everyone in shirtsleeves. Wonderful day in Delaware. Then he says: “Before I begin obviously the world is watching reports that there is a downed passenger jet near the Russia-Ukraine border. And it looks like it may be a terrible tragedy.” “HaHaHaHaHahhhrrrgguuuuu!,” I laughed and gasped as Hazel drew me into her ample bosom where Mogambo dreams come true (WMDCT). 

But the FF Obama was not done: next he says that “they,” meaning his office chimps, were “working to determine if there were any Americans on board. That is our first priority,” the FF said, saintly.

Obviously, the FF Obama has lost his mind and HaHaHa doesn’t know where to find it! It’s even possible it never existed. If any Junior Mogambo Rangers in training (JMRIT) ever needed proof of moronity (POM) here we have it. This MD stuff is easy!

 

Submission 8
By:  JMR Carl J.

The Continuing Adventures Of The Gazomba Guru (The Mogambo Guru's Distant
Cousin-Lord-Knows-How-Many-Times-Removed)

So I'm sitting in my Gazomba Fortress Of Hiding Under The Table, polishing
my five iron, when JGR Dan bursts in (thus making a mockery of the
'Fortress' bit).

"Guru," he exclaims, "You're a just a crazy gold bug. You've been saying
the same thing about how We're Freaking Doomed since..., well since 1971
practically. I followed your advice about buying gold, silver and oil after
2007 and I thought you said I'd be a gazillionaire by now. You keep
expecting the system to collapse but you don't give enough credit to the
vested interests. They've kept it going this long and they have the
firepower and above all the willpower to prop up the whole rotten edifice
for, geez, another twenty years maybe. Are we supposed to wait twenty years
to get rich? Being early is indistinguishable from being wrong."

Sighing, I put down the club and pick up an Uzi. Waving it vaguely in his
general direction I make two of my Unanswerable Guru Replies (UGRs):

"Number one, I'm not a crazy gold bug; I'm a crazy gold bug with an arsenal.
There's a world of difference."

"Number two, you think this is about *getting rich*? Haven't you heard a
ranting word I've written? I said "We're Freaking Doomed", not "Let's Make
Money." If you want to get rich by next Thursday then you need to find a
few cronies at the evil Federal Reserve who will lend you some of their fiat
currency at practically zero interest. Buying gold, silver and oil is not
about joining the 1%. It's about being able to look yourself in the mirror
and say "I'm Still One Of The Freaking Good Guys (SOOTFGG)". And I don't
think it will take that long, but if you have to do that every day for
twenty years then THAT'S WHAT YOU DO." 

 

Submission 9
By:  JMR Robert S.

The Rez-erection of the Mogambo Warrior

 

Having perfected my golf swing and full transcendence  of being an inert carbon blob,  energized with the growing awakening of the public formerly the walking dead zombis of whom the bankers eat regularly for dinner, I arose and escaped from my prison, donned on my sword and re-entered the fray.

 

Reports from all over the country that used to be home of the brave, land of the free, renamed as the home of the free eating of zombis by the already well FED. that there was actually a sighting of resistance to the 100 year-elitist money scammers.

 

My hermitical life  came to  a sudden end as the last burning ember of hope began to catch other lumps of dead coal on fire.. Americans were awakening as a butterfly begins its escape from the cocoon.

 

So with all the fortitude of Don Quixote de la Mancha, I raised by gleaming sword to do battle again despite by growing middle, graying of the few hairs left, and slow drawl of the ability to emit words from my mouth.. I am back on the saddle.

 

I am flabbergasted and have seriously thought of changing my name of Mogambo guru into General of  De-Zombied (GODZ).

 

To the trenches, to the front, attack on all sides all ye de-zombied fellows who have come back to life.  There is a hole in the bankers wall.  They have been exposed of their complete manipulation-mutilation.

 

A call to arms I hear in the streets of the net as new bold warriors arise young and old, rich and poor, black and white,

green and not so green  to take back our country, our world and our sanity.

It is fantastic I tell you. I see bankers being arrested. The homes, banks , private jets and island resorts of Rothchilds, Rockefellers, Diamonds etc etc and all their slaves being taken over by mobs of de-zombied warriors who just can t take it anymore.

 

The banksters overly FED with their zombi eating cannot run and are easily caught by those few who they were not able to buy off.

 

The manipulation is ending as those behind the scenes get caught with their pants down and running for cover.  The media has been taken over by truth warriors and proclaiming to all the masses of the world that they have been duped and that a new  world will begin with freedom to all, with all IMF debt canceled and new currencies based on real wealth are created you are free free freeeeee.

 

Even greater progress was made in the revitilization of the walking dead when TV s were turned off for at least one month to detox from mental poison; computers and mobile phones turned off to end the CIA s secret brain manipulations and the NSAs  slaves free porn of watching us in action.

 

We took back the financial control when tin foil hats were changed to silver foil hats, and to hold up our pants we changed from tin, nickel, and brass belt buckles to gold.

 

When I awoke from the dream  I smiled.  YES!  It IS possible. YES we CAN as I arose from my comfortable , grabbed my sword, put on my silver hat, buckled up, to lead the troops into battle.