October 15, 2013
By: The Mogambo Guru
I
emphasize, for the record, that I was NOT at some common, sleazy bar, some
dingy, smoky rat hole full of stinking drunks stumbling around saying
hello to one another (“Hi, Bill!” “Go to hell, Mogambo!”).
It
was, instead, a rather nice place, somewhat of a classy oasis where men of
class and breeding meet to have a casual drink with friends, perhaps after
work, in an atmosphere of comfortable camaraderie to stuff one-dollar
bills into the G-strings of hoochie-coochie dancers, especially that leggy
blonde babe over there by the bar, whose eyes say “Oooh, I want you,
Mogambo! Take me in your manly arms and whip me into a frenzy!”, but whose
lips said “Eww! Stay away from me, you creepy old man! And keep your
dollar, too!”
And I
take pains to emphasize that I was NOT there to lewdly ogle beautiful,
lithe ladies wearing the minimum the law allows, while they sensuously
oozed up and down a brass pole to the accompaniment of loud, driving beats
of primitive, insistent, hypnotic rhythms, making men forget all about
everything except how to get more dollar bills.
And
that’s why I was there! To forget! To forget, for one blissful moment,
about the lawsuit against the rigging of the silver market being thrown
out of court because the government, through the creation of the Exchange
Stabilization Fund, now has the legal power to rig all markets in secret.
So,
there I was, to drink to forget about how Chris Powell of GATA was
chillingly correct when he said “There are no markets anymore. Only
interventions.”
And
also to forget an also chilling breitbart.com report that "Total household
debt, according to the Fed's flow of funds report, is at $13 trillion,
nearly back to its pre-crisis level in 2007 and a shade below government
debt of $15 trillion.”
Debt
back to pre-crisis levels! Insane! Michael Pento, of Pento Portfolio
Strategies, says of this, with what I imagine is some dry and wry voice
dripping sarcasm and scorn, "We have learned nothing.”
Judging by the lengths I was willing to go to try and forget, you have
probably guessed that this is very chilling stuff in itself, but when
combined with a projection of a federal deficit of yet another $1.2
trillion or so next year, it all turns to horror because it means that the
evil Federal Reserve will create most or all of that $1.2 trillion in new
currency and credit, increasing the money supply more and more and more
until I am screaming piteously “We’re freaking doomed to die of inflation
and economic collapse!”
And
with the horrid Janet Yellen, even more satanic than the nightmare that
was arch-demon Alan Greenspan, and then Ben Bernanke, being apparently the
next chairman of the Federal Reserve, we are Truly, Truly Screwed (TTS).
Alan
Greenspan, you might recall, is The Only Reason (TOR) that we are in the
trouble we are in, as it was he who outrageously created all the credit
and currency that killed us!
Remember: It is one thing for Congress to vote to spend lavish sums of
cash, but unless the Federal Reserve creates the currency and credit to
absorb all this new government borrowing, the only other place the
government can get spending cash is raising taxes! How many re-elections
do you think Congresspersons could win, and how many Fed chairmen would
be-re-appointed?
And
now, with the terrifying Janet Yellen set to take over, it means you have
Two Ways To Go (TWTG), investment-wise.
One
option, which I will call “Option One”, is that you can go long, and ride
the inevitable sick, twisted extensions of the booms in the stock and bond
markets as all these insane amounts of cash (just the federal deficit for
this year – alone! -- is almost $4,000 for every man, woman and child in
the Whole Freaking Country (WFC)!), after cascading through the economy --
bing, boom, bang!-- finally ends up, after taxes and expenses, as pure
profit for someone, who now has to decide what to do with it, and who
quickly discovers that only the stock and bond markets can absorb that
preposterously much cash, which will be seen as a good investment at the
time because stocks and bonds will have been going up, benefitting from
previous massive and insane deficit-spending, as all that previous insane
amounts of cash, after cascading through the economy -- bing, boom,
bang!-- finally ended up, after taxes and expenses, as pure profit for
someone who had to decide that do with it, and who quickly discovered that
… Well, you get the picture.
Ergo,
the stock and the bond markets must go up just because there is nowhere
else to invest that much cash.
And
this is exactly the point of the Treasury exercising its powers under the
Exchange Stabilization Fund to cheat and lie: To keep the stock and bond
markets up, which must be done because everyone has every one of their
dollars, in one way or another, in those markets. Even your stinking
checking account sweeps all your cash out of the bank every night, into
the Treasury market or banking system debt!
And
let’s remember, too, that the government is not nearly out of options yet.
For example, giving every worker (about 100 million of us) a tax rebate of
$5,000 each would “only” cost the government $500 billion, which is less
than HALF of the projected budget deficit as it is!
And
how about the marvelous, magical market-boosting potential of a 100% tax
credit for, say, buying a motor scooter with that $5,000 refund,
Congressionally justified as “saving the environment” by encouraging
“green transportation,” with the wonderful result that you get all your
money back, and end up with a free motor scooter to boot!
The
second option, which I label as The Second Option That Is Better Than The
First Option (TSOTIBTTFO) is to put your cash into gold and silver
bullion, which are guaranteed by 2,500 years of history to be winning
investments, especially when the aforementioned stocks and bonds have
turned to worthless crap because the currency in which they were priced
was a turned into piece of worthless fiat currency crap, that turned into,
figuratively when measured in buying power, crap, by the monstrous
over-issuance of fiat money to sustain a bizarre, nightmarish economy that
is not built on real, sustainable demand, but on government spending!
Government spending! An economy based on government spending!
It
sounds weird when you say it. It looks weird when you read it. And it is
proven weird when you think about it for more than, oh, say, about a
jillionth of a second.
But if
Nassim Taleb is right about “black swan” events, then there is nothing to
fret about anyway, because, by some completely random, unforeseen and
catastrophic event, we will all probably be killed long before that, maybe
by an asteroid slamming into the Earth, or a mega-volcanic eruption, or
something zombie-related, maybe with laser beams shooting from their eyes
(zzzt!)! And flames shooting out of their mouths!
Or
something from outer space!
There
are, of course, many, many ways for all this monetary and fiscal madness
to unfold, but for almost all of them, history has proved that owning gold
and silver is the one Sure-Fire Road To Investing Success (SFRTIS), which,
because I am too lazy to come up with anything better, is also, verbatim,
the Mogambo Sure-Fire Road To Investing Success (MSFRTIS).
And
when people ask “Tell me, good sir, what is the Mogambo Sure-Fire Road To
Investing Success (MSFRTIS)?”, I proudly say “It’s $39.95! Plus
shipping and handling! But I’ll tell you what: If you are so stupid that
you can’t understand the concept of merely buying gold and silver bullion,
especially when all the details were given to you, free, in the previous
paragraph, and yet you still need your own, personal copy of some bogus,
fictitious Mogambo Sure-Fire Road To Investing Success (MSFRTIS) book,
that I just made up, to reassure you, then send me $40, in cash, addressed
to “Occupant”, and we’ll call it even.
And, one day many moons from now, and certainly within a few years, when you realize that you have probably been ripped off, you will think “Hey! If I had bought gold and silver bullion, instead of waiting around for the postal carrier to bring me a book that never existed in the first place, that supposedly said the exact same thing, I would be very well off! No wonder people who bought gold and silver bullion, and oil stocks, always said ‘Whee!’ when they did!”